The Great and Awesome Journey......

Learning....

2010-05-03T12:28:00.003+08:00

It has been 2 weeks since I've resign from my last Job. It has been a tough time getting over it. But i can proudly tell you that I've get over it and moving on......in life there is always ups and downs. It is ok to express your sadness or the unsatisfactions. Cause there is nothing is fair or correct....somethings does not go your ways does not means it is the end of the world. You may feel like it is the end but most important is to stand up from where you have fall and start from where you have fall. An attitude of a person is important to reflact the life we want to live.

What is the point of getting sad and depress.... This make your life misarable!!!! Live it to the fullnest enjoy every moment of it. For the last 2 weeks i've been enjoying it to the fulness. I manage to catch up with friend thats i've not meet for 8 years. I've been living life like i own it to myself. I've been doing some shopping which i've not done for months. I've been going to cafe to online and do some reading.... I've also attended dozen of interviews.

Which line of work i want to be in? This is now what i need to consider to get into the job i want to be in next. Media and Entertainment? Back to education? Advertising and Promotion? many more.....God has been so bleesing that so many offer till dont know where to head..... Who say God is not there?? He is always there for me and you.... Failure does not means he dont LOVE... It is for me to Learn!!!!!

Failure doesnot means I'm a Failure;
It does means I have not yet succeeded.
Failure does not means I have accomplished nothing;
It does means I have learned something.
Failure does not means I have been a fool;
It does means I had enough faith to experiment.
Failure does not mean I've been disgraced;
It does mean I dared to try.
Failure does not mean I don't have it;
It does mean I have to do something in a different way.
Failure does not mean I am inferior;
It does mean I am not perfect.
Failure does not mean I've wasted my time;
It does mean I have an excuse to start over.
Failure does not means I should give up;
It does means I must try harder.
Failure does not means I'll never make it;
It does mean I need more patience.
Failure does not mean You have abandoned me;
It does mean You must have a better idea.

Santa 24/7 working!!!!

2010-04-13T11:53:00.002+08:00

It has been some time when i last blog.... Many things has been happening in my life... There is up and down... and this has been a good experience and a learning ground for me!!! Have start working since 1 and the half year back. Working life is never fun, i though I've meet a lot of different kind of people in uni wait till you come into the work world. They can be so much worse then back in uni. People in the working world are mean and they are always for their own good. There is no such things as wait I'll think what is best for you.. All they know is Me, Myself and I. You can no longer be naif in this World....

Every since I've been in here I've learn so much to only trust on me. Trust others will lead you to hell faster. the next thing you know they put you in big trouble. People will always put the blame on you even though you did nothing wrong. They will protect them self and don't bother about you live or death. This is how cruel this world can be. All you have in the battle is only you.

It is easier to get frustrated and sick of all of it!!!! Why can human turn out to be so evil, where is the moral that parents teach you since young? Why they want to make life so complicated when it can just be so simple? Why can they just leave the innocent alone? Why can they just mind their own business?

This is because Santa is doing it work well....

Horrible Experience~~~

2009-04-19T00:53:00.002+08:00

18th April 2009 a day on where i will not fly on Firefly Airline the so call Community Airline. I think they should call the Con and Rude Airline.

2 months back, when i get to know that Firefly got a new route to fly Subang Airport to Kuantan i was so excited and was looking forward to use the airline more often. It wasn't a wise choice after today. I book an air ticket back to Kuantan on this new route and was my 1st time with this airline. All this while i have no trust in Budgeted airline and i thought may be this will be different and should just give them a chance. I did by making my 1st move and book it.

I have never meet a airline who has a duty manager who is so rude. Fxxk that person. I bought a flight which suppose to take off subang at 7.55pm. few days back i got a msg saying that my flight has been cancel and change to 9.55. immediately i thought it was delay by 2 hrs.

Today which i has been looking forward to go back home with Firefly after so long never go back. When i reach the airport i was told the counter was close and there is no more flight. Feeling curious i went to the Customer Office. There i was told i'll be attend by a officer in 10min. OK that fair. But after waiting for nearly 20 mins, the person still haven turn up. As i am and very impatient person i request to see the person immediately. I was again told his on the way. after 10 min of waiting he did not show up, so i left the office with full of anger and was follow by 1 of the staff who try to stop me from leaving.

When the Duty Manager came. 1st thing he did not appologise, He ask me what time was my flight. I told him it was suppose to be 7.55 and was change to 9.55. Immediately he told me that there is not such flight at that time. I felt so cheated and ask him but i bought the flight ticket online and was told that the flight has been cancel and changed. He did not bother to explaine and say i've made a mistake.

With Anger i walk away, same as him. Then feeling being cheated i went to starbuck and start online to get my itienary send by firefly to me by mail. then after that i went back to the "manager" i show him the itineary and he still say that i've make a mistake then he twise and turn around. Me being very angry, I was talking to him in a very high voice. He shouted back at me.

I was very angry and i walk out of that place.

He make a very huge mistake.
1. I'm his customer and he use a very rude way to talk to me.
2.He say there is no evening flight as i booked.
3.He shouted at me.

I'm going to make sure i'll lodge a complaint and He is going to loose his job. If not i'm going to make sure This will be on the main news!!!!

I'm Back

2009-04-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

Hey people sorry for not blogging for a very long time..... Many people wondering where is this Vivien? Still alive? Missing in Action only!! I've been working back in Malaysia for 5 months. I've super busy with work. Can say less rest and working most of the time till friend around me say I'm workaholic. No choice le with the work load given. There is up and down in my work live but so far I'm very bless and still surviving. I've got increment twice and i count that as a blessing as i only work for a very short period. God has been taking good care of me and glad of all the blessing he has for me. I know more blessing is flowing and his love for me is eternity. I've not been able to attend church or any other activity in church as the resposibility given in work but i'm trying my best to balance up my working, sosial and church. Give me some time I'll be back on track. No worries!!!! Thats for all the concern from friends around. Just want you all to know i'm doing well. I'll keep you all update as often as i can. Miss me can always leave me a msg and i'll reply as soon as i have the time. Thats all for this time round.

Disappointment

2009-02-13T20:26:00.002+08:00

Since the last time i post on my blog....I've been trying my best to live a life of only me and not bothering what people try to say. But sadly to say i fail. Why is life so difficult to live? Is it just me facing this problem? I start to lost trust in people. Every time i face problem i don't know where to go. I go to God but there is no respond. Is it me that can't hear him? Why other people can live life like nothing obstructing them. Is God still there for me?

Human

2009-01-21T15:15:00.003+08:00

Why there is political problem in office or where ever there is human??? Why can people just live other people alone? I hate this problem and it has been repeating in my life. It happen in studying life, working life and social life. What is the problem with HUMAN??? I did not do anything wrong. I just want to live a simple life. Get a job and earn enough money to get my own house, car and travel once in a while.

I face the stupid human politic when in my previous job and i had a hard time over come it. I was hoping the same thing will not happen or i will be stronger in facing this problem. I still can't, i'm still very weak in handling this problem. Today i get to know that there is someone in work place back stab me in front of my boss. At the very moment i feel that there is no body i can trust in this world. I've learn to put my trust in people but now i start to losing them. People that i see everyday, talk, laugh and work with.

I've learn to be a person who only trust myself and be selfish. No point helping others and end up get hurt badly. Unless someone get to convince me if not I'm going to keep to this principal.

The start of 2009!!!

2009-01-12T22:27:00.003+08:00

Happy Near Year!!!! Hahahaha.... I'm a bit slow!!! So fast, is already half a month gone. I was in kuching for the 1st weekend of the year. Have a great time there. Get to spend some quality time with Cindy, Darrel, Melvin, Derek and Kiew. They really feed me a lot of food. Don't have time to digest, the next thing i know it is time for the next meal. Get to relax and have fun. Was a good start for the year. This will be a greater year for me. This year I'll be buying my 1st house. I'm also planning to travel to a few places. To fulfill both this wishes i need to work very hard to earn a lot of money!!!! If can i will be going back to Perth end of the year, I miss everyone back there!!!Nothing much go on with me, at the moment my life is work, work nothing but work!!!! I'll keep you all update. I hope there is something interesting that i come share but at the moment my life is quite boring for some of you!!!

Tiring Life...

2008-12-16T14:06:00.002+08:00

Working life is never fun...Although i could learn a lot of new things and can be fun at time but the worse thing is tiring!!!!!! After back in Malaysia for a month, I've no choice but to start working. If not I've to eat grass for living. Just Joking. Last week i've work 7 days. This week i'm stuck again with work and have to choice and work 7 days again. What kind of job is this!!!!!!!! I've to go up to Penang with my team this week. It will be challenging and TIRING. 8 Days to Christmas. I can;t wait for it to arrive cause by then i can catch up with my beauty sleep and my lovely friends. I've been scolded that ever since i come back from Australia I haven spend much time hanging out with friends. I've been keeping myself at home enjoying the great and lovely time by myself. Mom making noise that I stay home too much. She say i should go out. I just love spending time at home. There is so many things we can do at home. Ya i have to go out of the house and spend some time with my friends. LOL!!! Anyway working life is tiring. I WANT TO GO BACK TO STUDY LIFE!!! People who are still studying, pls enjoy it!!!!

The power of wisdom tooth

2008-11-30T20:21:00.003+08:00

I was suppose to start work on the 1st December 2008 which is tomorrow but unfortunately i can't. I was told to report next week. I'm suffering the pain of before and after effect of wisdom tooth. I extracted 1 about 2 weeks ago and suffer for almost 1 week then i decided if there is no pain cause by the others wisdom tooth then i won't bother about it.

Who on earth will know 3 days after making the decision, my wisdom tooth give me a warning sign. I had a tooth ache, the pain was terrible till i could not open my mouth. So out of no choice i have to go to the doctor and have a minor operation to get rid of that wisdom tooth of mine on Friday. Don't ever think after getting it away will let you release your suffering. The effect of getting rid of it is, i have a swollen face, not only that the pain is still there and i got fever!!!!!! I did not get a good sleep before and after the wisdom tooth being extract. Thanks God I got a week to rest before i start work!!!!

Back home

2008-11-11T15:48:00.004+08:00

It has been a long time since i last update my blog. Finally I'm now back in Malaysia. It has been a week back in Kuantan. Nothing much i can do back here. Just relaxing and enjoying life before i start joining the working community in Malaysia. I miss Perth so much. I never expect I'll miss there so much. Nothing much has change back in Kuantan other then there is a few new housing development and there is a new mall. I spend most of my time at home. Haven got the chance to go to the beach although the beach is only like 10 min drive from my house. Yesterday i went to the hospital to get my wisdom tooth extract. My face now is so swollen. i wont take picture to show so don't ask me to do so!!! I'll be having another 1 in 2 weeks time. I hope that day never come. So pain!!!!!

For the last few days, I've been going through the pictures taken when my parent was in Australia. we took a lot of pictures. I'll update my facebook and post the pictures as soon as i can. Being back home make me lazy. I've been catching up a lot with my lovely sleep and also drama. I need to do all this before i start work. I really have no idea how should i continue but i think this is enough for the update at this point of time.

All the best in your final exam!!!!

Miss You!!

Can't wait for time to pass faster and then pause...

2008-10-09T09:56:00.003+08:00

Another week, another week, yeah yeah my parent coming......I've been looking forward for this for so long. I've been planning for their arrival since the beginning of the year. Imagine me buying ticket in February and finding for accommodation for them since then. Who on earth will plan things almost 6 months ahead. Only me!!! Time pass fast as i wanted to, but i also hope there will be a pause when my parent is here and me spending remaining time in Australia.

I'll be going to Gold Coast to meet them up spend a few days there then we going to Tasmania. Spend another few days there. Come back to Melbourne. Travel a bit in Melbourne then I'm off back to Perth. After Convocation I'll have to say good bye to Australia. I'm entering in the new phase of my life. A life that i want to avoid that's WORKING LIFE... Anne, Ying Sim and Khing Zu are graduating in October as well. They are my Kuantan's buddies. Congratulation to all 3. We use to have a lot of plans we want to do after graduate high school but until now still haven succeed. People i still waiting. KZ faster get your passport done. You slow..... Worse then snail!!!

My dear friend Ying Yi is also joining me back in Malaysia. She is coming back from the state and we will be working in Malaysia. She is also from Kuantan. We both studied in KL then she come to Australia. I was suppost to come but financially not premitted then when i finally coming to Australia she going back to Malaysia. Fine, the next thing she tell me she going to the state. But i'm glad she coming back. I can wait to meet up with all of them. Have so many good memories....

It will be nice if time could just pause at fun and happy moments and pass faster when we going through stuggling or sad moments. But this never happen. It is always the other way round. Time seem to pass so fast when we are having great time. Time pass terribly slow when we not happy.......

I'm looking forward for everything coming ahead..............................

Thought...

2008-10-01T16:13:00.004+08:00

Without realizing what have i done for the pass weeks is already October 2008. 29th days from now will be my convocation and then off back to Malaysia i go. For the past few weeks since i arrived in Melbourne I've been thinking a lot. Other than, going shopping or hang out in the city. I've think of so many areas in my life. From career to personal life to what I've done and going to do. There is so many "want" that u want. But all this things are to satisfy myself. I've been thinking I'm so bless, I know Christ and faithfully still walking with HIM. What if I don't know HIM. Will i still be today me? Will i still go through what I've go through? But I'm sure he makes me a better person today. Without HIM loving me and always there to encourage me. I'm sure I'm not the person I am today. I've been so blessed. Having everything that provided for me, sometime I take it for granted. I've been praying for direction for a very long time ever since before I finish my last semester in University. I am uncertain with what I want in life. I'm still confused till today on my future. Will I be successful? I want to be someone He can use. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to pray prayer all about me. I want to bless other as how he has blessed me and still blessing me!!!

I've read a book and it remind me of the pass operations that I went through few years back and the recent 1 was a month before I come to Perth. I've realize how short and dangerous life can be. The 1st operation was just a minor when I was 12, no impact in my life. The 2nd operation is where it starts to change my life. It was a leg operational and it happen when I was 17. After that operation, I visited the hospital so often and now I have the fear going there. I thought that was all that I need to go through and I’m going to be healthy.

After a few years, in the year 2005 I almost die. That day, I was waked up by a very sharp in my stomach. I thought was normal stomach ache but it wasn’t. I can’t even stand up to open the door. It was so pain that I don’t know how to explain. I know something was not right. I grab my phone beside me and call my housemate. Thanks God she was still at home. I remember she have to break the door to get into my room as I’ve lock the door. She was panic when she saw my condition. I ask her to call a friend of mine that has a car. I say I need to get to the hospital. Then after calling my friend she calls the college. The next min that I know of, there is a few person in my room. They were figuring out what to do. Finally they decided to send me to the hospital cause by waiting for the ambulance to come I think I die it also haven arrived. Thank God for my dad who working in the Health Ministry he manage to get the people in the hospital to get ready for my arrival. They took my blood and did a few checks and they can find what the cause is. By that time I’ve past out a few time by the pain. Finally the push me into the scanning room and did a few scan, they found out there is a growth in me and it burse and it is very messy and is life threatening. Doctor called my parent and they talk to them on the phone. My parent is back in my hometown and I’m all alone in KL. I was in no peace at that time. I don’t want to die so young, there is so many things I haven do. While they were discussing what best for me, the doctor in HKL has already got the operation theater ready. But my dad insists me flying back to Kuantan and gets the operation done there. The doctor advises not to do so because I may not make it. There is where I remember church elders and pastors who are there for me. They bought the flight ticket for me and then send me to the airport. I can’t remember what happen in between cause I pass out so many times. Imagine the pain killer didn’t help at all. I took the next flight off back to Kuantan. I was vomiting the whole 30 min journey. The moment I touch down. I was send by an ambulance to Kuantan General Hospital. The prepare me and then I was push into the operation theater. The operation took 2hrs and by the time I was awake was already pass mid night. I was in hospital for the whole week after discharge I was at home for 3 months. Even I was hospitalize and absent from class, I still seat for my final exam and by God grace I still pass all papers.

After that incident I told myself I don’t want to step into the hospital and I don’t want any more experience like this. Once is enough. Not unit June 1, 2007. A month before I come to Perth and 2 days before my childhood friend’s wedding. Again I experience the pain. I say that not going to happen again and I’m thought going to die this time. I’ve go for my check up frequently and as I know I’m doing well. That morning I was supposed to bring my mom and sis for shopping and my dad was in work. I told my mom I’m having this pain so badly and is a similar pain I have. I took 4 panadol and the pain is still there. My mom was panic and immediately she called my dad. My dad asks me if I can drive to his office and from there he will send me to the hospital. At that time he was having meeting with the director of Serdang Hospital. So the director called his doctor and emergency unit and asks them to get ready for me. With the pain I drive for 30 min to my dad office and then pass out after that. I was admitted again but this time is because of appendices. I was asking the doctor is there any way I don’t go through an operation. I’m so scared to hear the word operation. Again no choice I go through the operation and insist to be discharge the next day. Just imagine doctor try to avoid coming into my ward as I’ve been asking for discharge the moment I open my eyes. I want a discharge cause I can’t stand staying any longer in the hospital and I don’t want to miss my friend’s wedding. I go to the wedding in my wheel chair. A month later I fly to Perth as schedule.

Life can be so challenging and what I learn from all is we must appreciate every moment we have and live in meaningfully. It’s going to be tough but I know with God everything is possible. I also learn that he will not let me go because he loves me so much. I learn a lot from the process of healing. This is my 1^st time writing it out so clearly as I haven share with anyone because I scared people will see me as not perfect. I hope this could bless who ever that read it.

After a week in Melbourne

2008-09-22T15:47:00.002+08:00

I've been in Melbourne for a week. I've been having a great time here, although i miss everyone and everything back in Perth but i have to carry on and have all the fun that i can here in Melbourne. I've been shopping a lot in Melbourne but no worries never spend any money is all window shopping. On Sunday, after church went lunch with Micheal's cell people. They are nice people but the topic they discuss is quite boring. The service is more conservative and traditional. It make me think back of my home church in Kuantan.

After lunch i came back home and do ondeh-ondeh for night dinner party. Me, Shaun and Leanne was enjoying our self making it. Aunty Molly cook Laksa Terengganu and Curry. We have cake made by Monica, Strawberry and Choc by Leanne, O Cu Bi by Hong and Ondeh Ondeh by Me and Shaun.Ended up we have more desert compare to main course. The night was fun and i enjoy myself to the max. We eat and at the same time talk all the night. Just imagine all the loud people come together.LOL!!! Hong's BF a bit not use to it as the way we talk is like shouting and quarreling. We 'talk' and laugh all night long. Have not have such a great time for a very long time. We also plan on more activity for the week. We plan to go to Melbourne Royal Show this friday and saturday we will have lunch and watch AFL Final. Although i'm not a big fan to it but will still watch with them.

Today the weather make me feel very moody. It has been raining the whole day. I never like raining day so i never go anywhere because of the wet weather. Tonight after dinner i'll go over to Aunty Lily's place and stay over tonight. Tomorrow i'll to the City and again go shopping!!!

Mix feeling!!!!

2008-09-15T20:09:00.002+08:00

Yesterday is my last day in Perth. That very morning, i got a very sad feeling when i wake up...I'm sad because I'm leaving my comfort zone and going to Melbourne. I went to church service and that may be my last time praise and worship there. I'm so sure i will miss that place. After service went last Sunday lunch with my cell member. After lunch the feeling get worse. Didn't show it out and i was very sad at the moment. After going back home, do my final packing and a few friends came over. I'm glad they came over as i don't feel lonely at that time. Then we send the girl for their dance practice and at the same time get to meet a few more people at Choir practise before i go to the airport. I never like to go to airport as i always felt the loneliness in airport. There is a few person that came to send me off. I'm glad they came. After checking in and while waiting for boarding the flight the mix feeling is there. I felt sad and at the same time excited.

In the flight i was sitting alone. I got both seat to myself. I watch a few episode of TVB drama. The time pass so fast on flight. The next thing i know I've arrived Melbourne. After landing i give Aunty Molly a call and they were on their way to the airport to pick me. So i took my own sweet walk to the bag pick up area. After taken my bag, Aunty Molly haven arrive. So i took a seat and a corner and see people leaving the airport. The next thing i know there is no body left there, but not long after that Aunty Molly arrived.

The journey back to Aunty Molly's villa is about 40 min. It was very late for them, can feel they are very tired. Right after arrived they show me my room and they went to bed. I was enjoying the double bed and at the same time make a few calls back to Perth to inform my arrival. After that i went to bed.

This morning i wake up early, has breakfast then the journey to Lake Mt. It is about 2 Hrs drive there. When arrive there the weather was quite bad. It was raining the whole way. When we arrive at the mountain it was falling snow and is quite heavy but very nice!!! I enjoy myself there and took a lot of picture as well. On the way back we stop by a winery and the scenery was great.

Challenging Week

2008-09-11T15:49:00.002+08:00

This week was and will be the most busy and precious time I'm going to spend in Perth. This will be my very last week for the moment. I don't know if this will be the end of my chapter in Perth or will God still want me to come back here in the future. I really like the life here and want to spend more here, but I'm so uncertain at the moment. I've been praying over it for so long. Have God show me the way or am i not able to hear from HIM. Decision making is the worse part of my life, never like making it and will try to avoid it as long as i can.

But that not the main part that i want to talk about. This week other then meet up with as many friends as i can, i need to do my medical. On Tuesday, i went to do my medical as my appointment. This is my second appointment. On my first appointment i took my x-ray and urine test. At that time, my urine test did not pass. Then i was told that i need to do my urine test again at my second appointment which is on Tuesday. Doing the medical is already like a challenging thing to me as all my friend only do their x-ray and I'm the only person need to do medical and x-ray. At that point I'm asking God why I'm the extra ordinary one. Is there any message that you try to reach me. I'm already quite tight financial, as the money i earn is just enough for me to spend when I'm in Melbourne and all my parent's expenses when they come over.

Oh ya got drift to far....on Tuesday for my second appointment i did my urine test again. As what i guess it fail again for the second time. At this point of time, I'm felt like I'm going to be deported back to Malaysia. Fear start coming into my life, more money need to spend and not sure what happen to me that i fail 2 of my urine test. My bridging visa expiring soon,my medical still not pass yet. The doctor give me a reference letter and ask me to see another GP. I follow as what was told. Went and see the other GP. Then the GP refer me to take another sample of my urine and this time blood test(More money need to spend). This test must be taken the first thing in the morning the next day. As was ask, i go and take the test. My result is not out yet and I'm still waiting.........

At this point God test my faith on Him again. He test me in this area again and again and some time I've to ask myself am i not faithful to HIM or God just want to test me???Did i not take good care to my body?? What have i done wrong in my life that i always got negative things happen to me??? It has happen to me few year back that make me suffer physically and life threatening...Am i going through it again??? I don't want all this to happen to me, i just want to live a life like a healthy person.

There is nothing much i can do now. The only thing that i can do is put all my trust in the Lord and he will do the rest. Continue to be faithful to HIM... Everything happen for a reason....

Free From Work....

2008-08-31T17:26:00.002+08:00

Wow time really pass so fast...Yesterday 30th August 2008 was my last day working with Sarpino's Australia. There is a lot of great memory of fun and laughter and also stress and sadness. I also get to meet a lot of great friends there. Working there for 9 months make me learn a lot. I'm going to miss the people there and all the friendship back there..... Now I'll be spending another 2 weeks in Perth and Melbourne here I come...Then after that I'll off back to Malaysia.......

Daddy Birthday

2008-08-23T01:05:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was Daddy's birthday.Happy Birthday Daddy. This is my 2nd year not celebrating Daddy's Birthday. Really feel sad as we always celebrate his birthday as a family but lately this few year we are unable to celebrate birthdays with each other as everyone is a different place at that time. I celebrate mine 1st time without my family. Thank God for all the friend he bless me here that celebrate with me. Daddy is not a very expressive person but i know he love me a lot. Really appreciate Dad. I miss Him a lot. Love ya Dad.

Life

2008-08-22T00:23:00.012+08:00

Happy moment always pass very fast.Time pass so fast,not long from now I'm going to leave Perth.Have so so many memorable moment.I don't want to leave but i have to move on... I know I'm going to miss so many people back here, miss all the fun time spend here. Miss a lot of things back here...the food, the university life, the stress moment and most important the church. Thanks for all the great friendship...I appreciate it a lot!!!

Sad News

2008-08-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

After a long day at work...i call home to chat with mom..mom told me Aunty Mary in Melbourne pass away this morning!!I felt sad a moment as i was suppose to fly in Melbourne to meet up with Aunty Mary, Aunty Lily and Aunty Molly in a month time. But now i don't have the chances to meet her anymore.....

The Very First One

2008-08-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

This is my first time writing on my blog..I've always think writing a blog is a waist of time and never bother to do so. May be by this way i can express my happiness and sadness. I'm a very boring person. I don't really know how to use flowery word to make good sentence or may not be a person that express a lot. but what i know by writing this I've make a huge step to do something different in life. I hope people who read won't get bored and continue to read. I think that's all for the first time.